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Think Maestro - Marrying to divorce: What a sad circus!

Make a Difference With Bea WHY do people get married these days? Is it because they love each other so much that they cannot stomach to be ...

Make a Difference With Bea
WHY do people get married these days? Is it because they love each other so much that they cannot stomach to be apart? Is it that they want to start a life together? Is it that they want to have children together?

Or are there other reasons that now inspire the marriage institution; once revered as the best foundation for the family unit?

I ask these questions at a time when sungura artiste Alick Macheso’s daughter Sharon has just approached the courts seeking a nullification of her marriage to Kudakwashe Munetsi barely three months after the two’s much publicised nuptials.

It has to be nullification because it does not even qualify to be a divorce. Imagine? These two have been all over the media ever since before they married. Did the publicity mess things up for them?

After all, it is reported that they dated for more than a decade. No one can, therefore, claim that they married too young or they did not know each other enough.

Or is this a classical case of high school sweethearts who 10 years later realise that they do not know each other at all?
Think Maestro - Marrying to divorce: What a sad circus!
After all, the truth is that one never truly knows a person until they begin to live with them.

While a couple is dating, there is a tendency for both male and females to bring along the best side of them only while the real person is tucked away somewhere.

But there are things that time will always uncover.

This is why a long courtship, in the past, was always encouraged.

This is because by the time one married someone they had been with for a long time, they would know just what it is they would be signing up for or paying lobola for.

Thus it is a bit sad that in the Munetsi-Macheso marriage, the two young people are literally conducting their relationship in the media, slandering and muddying each other’s names.

If Sharon were a svikiro, which she could very well be; surely Munetsi had no problems with it for he said he was aware of it. But then again; if Munetsi is not gainfully employed and likes to spend the day loafing around; surely by now Sharon was aware.

If Sharon likes to go out till late in the night; then surely her husband was well aware before he married her. For him to start talking of sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) she reportedly suffers from now is a bit below the belt. In fact, it is downright uncivilised.

What shall we blame for this sad circus?

Is it the media glare that was focused on the young couple? Is it the distance between them when Munetsi was based in South Africa? After all, it is a documented fact that long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain.

Distance grows between a couple when they are not in constant touch. All sorts of elements get the opportunity to infiltrate a relationship and if the two involved do not make an effort, the relationship can easily crumble.

Is it that Sharon and Kuda drifted apart without realising?

Is it that by the time they married, the gap was too wide? Were they aware?

There are some who say Munetsi is just a gold digger. They say he went after Sharon because she is the daughter of a big star. I cannot dispute that for such things have been known to happen.

There are some men who date girls and women because of who they are, who their father is, who their mother is, their wealthy background, their high-paying jobs; among other reasons.

There are also women who do the same. So it would not be a first.

But in this case; except for the name; what would the young man gain? I suppose the fame would be a big part of it. But then if Munetsi dates Sharon for so long, then that was well before her father became a household name or is it that the signs were already there?

But there are questions for Sharon, too, and any others in similar situations. Did she not see that her prospective husband was a bit of a player or joker? Did she see him as someone ready to settle down?

A man who kisses and tells can best be described as immature, a fool or an ignoramus?

You tell the whole nation that your wife gave you an STI and then you turn around and profess your love for her? You tell the nation that you are not responsible for your wife’s pregnancy and then you claim to love her?

Why tell the media all your woes if you are man enough? This brings us to some pertinent questions. Where are the elders in the Munetsi and Macheso households when this drama is unfolding?

Marriages come with problems and challenges, some which are called teething problems where a young couple are just struggling to adjust to a new way of life, of being accountable to someone else; which can be dealt with over time.

There is a baby coming here and surely a couple that had such a loud wedding must have been serious about some of what they were doing. Can the two not be counselled?

Where are the church leaders involved in this wedding? Can they not counsel the parties involved?

Yes, Munetsi and Sharon have both said nasty things, but those in marriage know that such things can be overcome. You mend bridges and life continues.

After all, we have to admit that in marriage or love; two different people with a different upbringing and value systems at times, make a conscious decision to be together.

Thus, at times they will differ.

Even in-laws may not always get along but with time they get used to each other. Such is life.

Does this society still value marriage? Why are marriages breaking up at such an alarming pace?

What needs to happen for sanity to prevail? As we watch this Macheso-Munetsi sad circus unfold, let us ask ourselves some hard questions? What can each of us do to make a difference?